The True True: Pregnancy, Parenthood and the Shit No One Wants to Talk About

I thought my blog title could use a little explanation–

I honestly can’t remember the first time I uttered the phrase, “let me tell you the true true.” I know I can’t take credit for the phrase, but it has been a part of my adult vernacular and it has always been used in conjunction with story telling about a major life moment. Drinking, dating, sex, graduations, first jobs, weddings, marriages, pregnancy and now birth and parenting. This truth telling has been fostered by working in a place, where I am surrounded by my peers and we are all, for the most part, going through the same life events one right after the other. And having people to follow means there is always some stream of advice heading your way. There’s always some kind of truth that isn’t necessarily common knowledge, that most everyone goes through (your mama, sister, cousin, auntie, bestie, coworker, you name it), but is too polite to talk about.

Being polite. That is just a thing expected of women, especially Southern women. And I am from some of the finest, most polite Southern women that exist. We just don’t talk about it. Whatever IT happens to be. Except for me and my mom. We talk about almost everything. And I’ve found from my experiences on social media and living life with little to no filter and far too many swear words that it’s not because women don’t want to talk about these things. They just don’t and there’s no real rhyme or reason for it. So after having several friends, male and female, encourage and compliment a long stream of posts where I was brutally honest and a little bit dramatic about what was going on with me and my pregnancy– I decided I wanted to be the one to talk about it. I didn’t want to be one of those sweet people that is telling someone else, “I love that you say everything that I’ve been thinking” or “I feel like you are in my head reading my mind” or “your posts crack me up”. I wanted to continue being the one giving everyone my thoughts. No filter. A little bit of humor. And my truth. I also decided I probably needed another outlet for my thoughts because my sweet, polite, deeply Southern aunts are constantly shocked by the things I have to say and the amount of swear words I use to say them and all of my co-workers and contacts shouldn’t be forced to read about my boobs leaking on my personal Facebook page. I asked a few questions, took some advice and encouragement and it lead me to a blog.

As far as storytelling goes–the thing I like about the truth is that it’s almost always better than fiction. It can be raw, funny, unexpected, deep, emotional, terrible, but it’s real, tangible, and someone else has probably been in your same position. I’ve always been drawn to telling the truth almost to a fault. There is nothing that would get you into trouble faster in my house growing up than telling a lie. Even if it came to telling a “white lie” or half truth I felt an immeasurable amount of guilt. Unless it is why I am 15 minutes late to something. That is just who I am and it’s usually because I forgot I needed gas. My conscience took that guilt one step further and once I became a teenager I had a reputation of saying exactly what was on my mind, littered with swear words (because those are colorful and fun), and little regard for who was on the receiving end of my words. Once I reached full-blown adulthood and the workforce I learned to rein it in a bit, but kept a reputation of honest opinions and stream of conscious conversations. Believe it or not, I do have a filter. I’ve come a long way in the last ten years. But, I also discovered that there are people that are willing to talk about life and the moments you don’t always hear about and I wanted to be a part of those conversations. I wanted to know the stripped down version about everything. I didn’t want the glossy, magazine or movie screen version of life. I didn’t want to be disappointed by ideas or experiences that were unattainable. No fairy tale nonsense for me.

Choosing to tell the truth about pregnancy was easy. God, there is so much I didn’t know. And I felt like people SHOULD know. Like for instance, breast milk comes out of a bunch of different holes. Not just one. And it doesn’t just start coming out after you have a baby. It can happen before they get earth side. If you say everyone knows that I’m going to call you a damn liar.

At my office there has been a span of about four years where at least 3 people are pregnant at any given time. Which I guess is what happens when you hire an office full of 20-somethings fresh out of college. I was hearing about pregnancy all of the time. And I was getting the opportunity to see a lot of different personalities, body types, upbringings, and women in different stages of their careers navigate everything it meant to be pregnant. Once it was my turn it helped that one of my best friends/co-workers/business partners and I were nine weeks apart during our pregnancies. She was my glimpse into the future and she always promised to tell me “the true true.” And thank God she did. Even now that our collective pregnancy is over and our boys are here she is still giving me real talk and I’m still updating her on the progress of my bowel movements. Everyone needs a friend like that.

These blog posts are going to be all about pregnancy, parenthood, and life. I plan to address it like I do everything in life: head on, with whatever sense of humor I can muster, and little tolerance for bullshit. I’m so glad you all are along for the ride. No topic is off-limits so if there is something you want me to write about please ask. I’m here to amuse and make others feel like they are less alone in their journey. Judgers, haters, trolls and Debbie downers are not welcome here. It’s easy to bring people down. Take that crap somewhere else. Life is hard enough. This is my truth and you are not expected to agree. It’s not all going to be pretty or funny, but I can promise you it will be heartfelt and honest.

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